Misery Loves Company
by SteelBlaidd
Summary: Every guys dream right. More money than god, my own ship, and not one, not two, but EIGHT beautiful women that are mine, all mine. Every guys dream.... yeah right." Seina Yamada has everything a man could want and all the head aches that go with them.
1. Prolog

"…and that marked the end of major action. Mopping-up was handled by local authorities, the Renzan Navy and supported by three units of the Galaxy Army."

Airi Masaki, Chairwoman of the Galactic University, stared over her hands at Seina Yamada, Captain of the Galaxy Police Anti-Pirate Ship Kamedake. To her left sat the commandant of the Galaxy police academy Mikami Kuramitsu. As the young man finished his oral report of the recently concluded campaign against the pirates infesting the Renzan Federation, one of the interstellar governments bordering what was grandiosely styled the 'Galactic Union,' her attention turned to the eight women arrayed in two groups on either side of him. The group to Seina's right was stood in the patient posture of trained ladies in waiting the group to the left was more varied, neither hid the tension between them as well as the thought they did.

His report had been a dry recitation of combat statistics, probably written with a lot of help from his wife Kiriko Masaki, who natural reticence and a term of service in Galactic Army Special OPS had given her a fine touch for creating unassailable reports that left all the important information out. Including whatever had caused the increasingly more hysterical communiqués from Airi's eldest Minaho, as pirates threw themselves on the non-existent mercy of Seto Kamiki Jurai, the Oni-hime, rather than face Seina's combat mech Tsuyoi, with or without the Kamidake in attendance.

Airi didn't know but could make a pretty educated guess. Over 700 years in the cutthroat worlds of galactic and academic politics had given the charwoman a sharp eye for non-verbal signals, and all the ones she was seeing said that the group was waiting for the right spark to go up like a room full of fire works. The wooden posture of Capitan Yamada indicated that he to was all too aware of the tensions among his crew. There was tightness in his voice that she had never heard before and the sparkle of excitement she was used to seeing in his eyes was absent.

"Well, Seina-chan", she said brightly, "It looks like you and your crew have done a fine job. I think you all deserve a vacation. Besides" she said with a deliberately exaggerated leer, "I believe you're overdue for your honeymoon."

None of them smiled back.

* * *

One week latter Seina sat, with his chin in his hands and his elbows braced on his knees, staring at the image of his home planet on the screen before him. It had been only four months, local, since he had last stood on the surface of Earth. Four months since he had been in this solar system. Four months since his very big, very public, and very peculiar wedding to the eight beautiful women sitting and standing scattered around the bridge of 'his' ship.

"Seina-chan, we are in parking orbit," said Kiriko from her seat at the helm.

"Thank you, Kiriko-san" He still had a hard time not saying 'san' with her name; he had done it for so long. "Is everybody ready?"

A chorus of affirmations came from around the room.

"Good. Let's go see Mom and Dad." And Tenchi-sempai, he thought, I really need to talk to Tenchi-sempai.


	2. Ch 1

A/N: All the apreciation is much apreciated. Warning I'm a slow writer so don't expect updates to beLess thatn a month apart.

Part 1: Just the man I wanted to see…

"Aaaaaaaaauuuugh!"

CRASH.

Tenchi looked up from the row of carrots he was hoeing to see Siena Yamada lying face down under his bike in the middle of the carrot patch. He smiled in memory of the last time Seina had come to visit, arriving in exactly the same fashion. "Well well well, if it isn't 'The Luckiest Man in the Universe.'" Despite his intimate understanding of the potential hazards of multiple strong women in one household, Tenchi couldn't resist a small touch of _schadenfreude_ as there was now some one with a more complicated love-life than his own.

A plaintive voice rose from beneath the wreckage. "I'd be glad to share, Tenchi-sempai. How much of my luck can I give you? " At this Tenchi threw back his head and laughed, then wandered over to help his friend, now cousin by marriage, out from under the remains of his bike. As Siena stood and brushed the dirt off of his front, Tenchi gave him a serious examination. The young man was taller and broader than he had been when last Tenchi had seen him, and there was a new air of strength underlying his easygoing nature. There was also tension and a look of wariness and suppressed hurt in the young man's eyes that Tenchi had never seen before.

"Sorry, that wasn't very nice of me, but it was what all the unattached males were calling you after the… umm wedding."

Siena closed his eyes wearily. "They would. Can you think of a more embarrassing way to get married?" he sighed.

"Not off hand," Tenchi responded, fighting a grin. Having what had to have been the biggest wedding in the last thousand years interrupted by the groom getting kidnapped was so typical of Seina's ridiculously bad luck. Tenchi still had not figured out why the four representatives of the Renzan Federation had felt that they couldn't wait until after the wedding to take the Galaxy Police's premier pirate hunter off to deal with their pirate situation. "You must admit that it was unique. Did you _not_ know they were transmitting visual?" Seina shook his head, his blush deepening. "Ryouko took notes, and I'm pretty sure that Dad 'aquired' a copy of the transmission." Siena buried his now brick red face in his hands and sank to the ground. Considering the way that negotiations between the kidnappers and Seina's four original brides had moved from merely embarrassing to down right pornographic, this seemed to Tenchi an entirely reasonable reaction. As a result of this interruption in his nuptials Seina had wound up married to all eight women, envied by all the single men in attendance, and worried about by everyone with sense. "Ayeka and I got Sasami's eyes covered pretty fast, so you don't have to worry about that at least," Tenchi finished.

"Oh good," came the muffled reply, "I can die happy."

_Sarcasm?_ Tenchi thought in surprise. _This is new._ He decided Seina had been teased sufficiently about his unconventional wedding, for the time being at least. "So where are all your lovely wives?" he asked eying Seina carefully. "We rather expected you all to come visit a few days ago."

Siena looked up at him and leaned back on his hands scanning the road on the hill above them. "Most of them are at the store 'helping' but Neiju-chan should be around here somewhere. We were bringing Fuku-chan over to play with Ryo-oohki and get a check up. I think she convinced Sasami-chan to give her a cooking lesson when she and Noike-san were at the store yesterday."

As if on cue, a slender girl, apparently about eleven, maybe twelve, with lime green hair and incredibly pale skin looked over the guardrail at the top of the hill. "O-nii-chan! Are you OK!?' she called and then raced down the hill to where the two young men were sitting. She slowed to a stop and both she and the small cabbit she clutched to her chest gave Seina a quick examination with concerned eyes. Relieved expressions spread across both their faces as they launched themselves at the somewhat battered boy. Seina found himself thrown to the ground again, this time flat on his back nose to nose with the youngest _looking_ of his eight wives kneeling on his chest.

Tenchi eyebrows rose to his hair as Neiju Yamada, the 2000-year-old retired High Priestess of Melmas, planted a possessive kiss on her husband's lips. By Seina's expression, Tenchi guessed his friend was just as surprised by this enthusiastic display of affection but kissed her back just as possessively. Neiju drew back a little and said, not quite jokingly, "Please be more careful. You promised you wouldn't get yourself killed before I'm old enough to have sex."

"H-h-hai."

Deciding they were finished, Tenchi cleared his throat. Seina sat up hurriedly leaving Neiju seated in his lap and burying her suddenly scarlet face in his chest. "Sempai," Seina paused and cleared his throat to bring his voice back down to its usual register,"may I present my wife, Neiju Yamada. Neiju-chan, this is my friend, Tenchi Masaki." Neiju scrambled to her feet and bowed. Tenchi bowed back, a little lower than necessary, while he banished the grin trying to form on his face. "Ohayoo-gozimasu, Neiju-san. It is a pleasure to meet you at last." As Seina stood up, Tenchi looked around, "So, where is Fuku-chan?" Seina and Neiju looked around wildly for a second then relaxed as they heard a contented 'Miyaa,' from the edge of the field where the notorious pirate ship Ryo-oohki was sitting in her little girl form. Her sister Fuku was sitting in her lap in the two bio-constructs' common form, an exceptionally cute cross between a kitten and a bunny, eating a carrot. The three of them walked over to where the two biological spaceship-cores were playing.

As they approached, Fuku looked up from her carrot then jumped into Seina's arms. Ryo-oohki stood up and bowed politely before giving both Seina and Neiju big hugs, miyaa-ing happily the whole time. "It's good to see you again too," said Seina.

"She's been waiting for you to come over since you all arrived three days ago." Tenchi said. The little girl spaceship nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

"I'm sorry, Sempai." Said Seina. " I meant to bring everyone over for a visit earlier but... well… things happened." he finished in a rush. Tenchi looked carefully at his three visitors and came to a decision. "Neiju-san," he said, "would you mind taking Ryo-oohki-chan and Fuku-chan back to the house? You would probably find it more pleasant cooking with Noike-san and Sasami-chan than watching me weed. If you let me borrow Seina, we can be done by lunch."

Neiju cocked her head to the side and looked at Tenchi and Seina with a thoughtful expression. "OK then. I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on." At this she looked pointedly at her husband. "But don't take too long. Ryo-chan, Fuku-chan, shall we go?" The cabbits miyaaed an excited affirmative and turned to race up the hill.

As Seina watched Neiju walk back to collect her bike, the two cabbits hopping ahead of her, he brought his fingers to his lips as if to assure himself they were still there. Tenchi fetched an extra hoe from the shed and waved at Neiju as she set off with the cabbits in her bike basket, then the two young men set to work hoeing the carrot patch.

After a few minutes of watching Seina attack the weeds with a ferocious intensity, Tenchi stopped, leaned on his hoe, and asked, "Is something on your mind, Seina-kun?"

At this Seina jerked up in surprise, after a moment he looked down and said softly, "Yeah."

"You want to talk about it?" Tenchi asked after another short pause, with studied indifference.

Seina's response, when it came, was barely audible. "Yeah... Yeah I do."

As she reached the top of the hill Neiju paused and looked back toward the field where her husband and his friend, the second heir apparent to the throne of the Jurian empire, were tending the late fall crop. In the galactic year since she had retired as leader of both the planet and religion of Melmass the telepathic abilities that had garnered her that position had begun to lose some of their strength. However as she had had the most powerful abilities of any person to hold that position, a fact that had contributed to her unprecedented 2000-year incumbency, they were still formidable. Both Seto-sama and Airi-sama had told her that she could trust this Tenchi Masaki and she was glad she had been able to confirm it. Even with reduced sensitivity, she could see in Tenchi the same inherent kindness and compassion wrapped around an iron will that had first lead her to choose Seina as a protector and then to fall in love with him.

_I hope he can help Seina-san_, she thought, chewing on her lower lip worriedly. Despite her best efforts the fractures in their newly formed family were growing. It hurt so much to see the man she loved torn by the conflict between the eight women he had taken in to his heart. She absentmindedly rubbed her cramping stomach with her left hand, "How does he do it Fuku?" she wondered aloud. "He loves all of us so completely AND equally... even them." Her voice sharpened at the thought of the four interlopers who had inserted themselves into the family that the crew of the Kamidake had become. Karen, Suiren, Gyokuren, Hakuren; she had known them first as Seto-sama's aides. She even liked them individually, but their constant efforts to take precedence over herself and her three new sisters in their beloved Seina's affections strained her determination to smooth the conflicts within House Yamada. It didn't help that she and Seina had decided that it would be best if they put off consummating their marriage until her body had matured a bit more. This brought her attention to the thing she had been trying to ignore since she left the field. _I kissed him, like THAT, in front of the PRINCE. _

She shook her head to clear her mind of the image and her face of the rising blush and started down the hill toward the Masaki house. According to all she'd heard, this Tenchi had managed to keep a household with six women, whose combined personal firepower was sufficient to take on the Galactic Army, for almost three years with out anyone being killed. And she was going to find out how he did it.


	3. Ch 2

Characters and places (C) Masaki Kajishima I don't own Tenchi Muyo (Bummer :p)

Apologies for the long lag between updates. I'm already working on the next section.

Part 2:

Tenchi stood by quietly, regretting his earlier amusement, and waiting for Seina to find the words to express what was on his mind. As the silence stretched longer Tenchi's concern grew. This was not usual for Seina, not usual at all. For as long as Tenchi had known him the disaster prone youth had been one of the most constantly and consistently cheerful people he had known. Now he was trying to cover sadness with a stoic expression and failing miserably. He'd seen Seina walk with a smile and a jaunty step in to or out of the hospital almost weekly, and calmly take in stride more misfortune in a day then most people saw in a lifetime. As Seina stood contemplating his next words, still for the first time, Tenchi noted the tale tale signs of bone deep weariness in the slump of his shoulders and the shadows under his eyes. Eyes that seemed to be staring into some dark casem. In all the years since Tenchi's cousin Kiriko had begun bringing the perpetually accident embroiled boy with her brother and herself to the shrine to play with him, never had he seen Seina brood. Usually when he was upset you couldn't shut him up.

Tenchi had just opened his mouth to speak again when Siena began, his words full of tightly controlled anger and dripping with bitter sarcasm. "We stopped by the Academy on our way here in order to take care of some paperwork and reports and I ran into my old roommates. All they could talk about was how lucky I was, and how jealous the were, and what's it like to have eight 'super sexy' women be 'legally required to sleep with me', and all the while not so subtly trying to get me to invite them to the all night, every night orgies they seemed to think I was having. Roger thought it was only fair that after sharing in my bad luck they ought to get a piece of the good."

Seina paused briefly than began again in a whispered monotone that slowly becoming more agitated but no louder. "Every one I met seamed to recognize me and want to congratulate me on how 'Lucky' I was to have so many beautiful and talented and wealthy and well-connected wives. The only thing that didn't seem to come up is that I'm apparently the third best candidate for Emperor after you and your Grandfather. I should be happy with my life, right? I have a job that's both important and interesting, beautiful women hanging off me, and more money then I could spend in a thousand years. Oh, and the thousand years to spend it in. It should be any boys dream life. I should be strutting around like I'm ten feet tall; when I'm not enjoying the attentions of women other guys can only fantasize about. Which they do by-the-way, and to my face. I ought to be ecstatic, right. I ought to be so happy I _**glow**_. Well I'm not…" Seina's voice trailed of in to a choked silence.

"Why not?" Tenchi asked after another pregnant pause with the careful touch of a man trying to defuse a bomb.

"Because it's all falling apart! That why not!" Seina's words seamed to explode outward.

"It was OK for a while. I know no one was really happy that they had to share me to start with, much less with twice as many people as they had planned on. Everyone was polite at first, at least while we were on duty. It's not like I was expecting every thing to go smoothly from the start." Seina began pacing back and forth across the rows gesturing wildly, words pouring out faster and louder the longer he spoke. "I mean, almost the first thing that happened when Airi-san took me to see them before the wedding was they start arguing about who was the prettiest, and that was just four of them. Most of them had worked together before and you would think they would try to be adult about things, but it just got worse and worse and worse."

"Bickering over whose turn it was to do what on the bridge, nasty practical jokes, sniping at each others appearance, and cooking, and personal habits, " He grimaced at the memory of one particular incident. Kiriko-san had been chewing out Amane-san for coming to the breakfast table in her underwear, again, when Gyokuren-san walked in without even that much on. By the end of the week he had had to declare that uniforms _would_ be worn on duty. "Sniffs and sneers and silences alternated with full-blown screaming matches. Add to this a nightly contest to be the one who got to 'sleep' in my bed or at least keep everyone else out of it. I started picking a different room every night, not that it mattered they generally found me in a couple hours anyway."

"It got to the point where fighting pirates became an afterthought to fighting each other. The worst moment was about three weeks ago. We were in the middle of chasing down a bunch of stragglers from one of the main pirate fleets. I turned to look at Neiju-chan as she came on to the bridge, just for a second, and when I turned back, Amane-san was launching herself at Hakuren-san, Karen-san had Ryouko-san in a head lock and then every one was fighting." Seina stopped pacing and is voice slowed. "And, I just sat there like a lump." His voice became so soft Tenchi could barely hear and his gaze turned inward in memory. "And, then I lost it."

* * *

He'd been in shock for the first few moments. _There were pirates shooting at them_! Well running and trying to discourage pursuit anyway, and his crew was having a free-for-all on the bridge. He'd sat there, with Fuku cowering in his lap, trying in vain to calm every one down. He remembered seeing Neiju-chan standing by the door her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide, Suiren-san sitting pressed in to a corner of the bridge well, one hand covering her mouth, the other clutched to her stomach, and tears starting in her eyes, and himself yelling "stop, please stop!" right before what later turned out to be a keyboard came flying out of the hissing and spitting pile in the middle of the bridge and bounced off his forehead. 

Weeks of suppressed confusion and frustration turned to anger as he sat up from the floor, a hand pressed to his bloody scalp. From somewhere deep inside the words boiled out of him in a roar.

"I!

SAID!

STOP!"

Nine pairs of eyes stared, wide open in amazement, while scraps of uniform floated out of the air to settle around the suddenly still tangle of bodies before him. "I can't believe this!" he yelled. "You are grown women, not children, and I am not some toy from you to squabble over like cats over a catnip mouse!" Speaking below a shout seemed impossible.

"Now" he said, no longer shouting but his voice still hard with anger. "When you all decide you want to stop acting like I'm the last item in the bin at a time-limit sale come find me." He gathered Fuku from his chair where she was cowering, turned, strode to the door, placed the small creature who served as both the brains and engine of his ship in Neiju-chan's arms and said sadly "Fuku, seal the door."

With that he ducked through the exit, cutting off the sound of voices abruptly raised in both pleading and protest.

He set the time lock for two hours, then turned and walked to the hanger where the giant robot that housed the seed of his Jurian Royal Tree bond-mate sat. He lowered himself gingerly into the command couch, moving as if he were as ancient as the billion-year-old mecha. He sat starring at his hands resting palm up in his lap for almost ten minutes. Then, with a grimace, slammed them down on the control orbs and flashed a dozen AU perpendicular to the course of the Kamidake and kept moving searching desperately for some place to hide,

and think,

and cry.

* * *

Tenchi waited for Seina to return from whatever paths of memory his mind was wandering. 

"I said some really hurtful things." Seina continued after a moment, his voice rough with emotion "I told them not to talk to me till they were done fighting, and then I took Tsuyoi and beat on pirates for three days while they sorted themselves out. It's been quiet since then, mostly. But it's not gotten any better. They're all so unhappy and I don't know what to do." Tears began to drip down his cheeks.

"The week before the wedding I had these terrible nightmares that all of them hated me and that they wanted me to just get out of their lives. And now they're all coming true." He gasped out past his now free flowing tears. " I love them all so much. That day was the first time I felt like I truly belonged, like me and my luck were not just tolerated but loved." Seina collapsed among the carrots and wailed, "I'm losing them Sempai."

With that he buried his face in the dirt and wept.

* * *

For the first time in many, many, years Neiju felt nervous. Her route had led her past a gate flanked by moss covered Jurai Guardians who had greeted her quite courteously. Now she stood for a moment deciding which door to approach. She had been expecting to do this with Seina-san. Ryo-oohki-chan and Fuku-chan were no help. Having decided it was too cold to be riding they had buried themselves inside her coat. _What is your problem?_ she thought to herself_. I faced down the High Council of Melmas for two millennia, I can do this_. 

Taking a firm grip on her galloping nerves she wheeled her bike around to the front door, gathered up her passengers then, after a couple of deep breaths, reached up and rang the door bell. After a few moments she felt a mind approaching and the door slid open to reveal the First Princess of Jurai, Ayeka Masaki, wearing a white kappogi style apron over her robes and holding a duster in her hand.

Neiju looked up at the poised young woman for a moment then gave a jerky bow, her upper-body parallel to the ground. "Good morning, I'm Neiju Yamada, I'm very pleased to meet you," she blurted out then straitened abruptly. "Umm... is Sasami-chan in?"

Ayeka smiled gently "I am very pleased to meet you as well. Welcome to our home. Sasami-chan in very excited about your visit." She turned and called in to the house, "Sasami. Neiju-sama is here." She then stepped aside and gestured for Neiju to enter. "You may leave your bike on the front porch," she said.

As Neiju slowly stepped through the front door into the entrance hall she heard the door into the rest of the hose slide open with a bang. She stumbled backwards, dropping the two cabbits, as a tornado with cyan pigtails threw itself at her. Fuku-Chan and Ryo-chan scampered around behind Ayeka's ankles to take shelter from Sasami-chan's enthusiastic greeting.

"You came, you came, I'm so glad you came! Noike-o-neechan said you would be here until at least Friday, you came! This is going to be so much fun! I've got a great menu planed for lunch. Can you stay for diner? Who else is coming?" Sasami stepped back and looked around rapidly. "Did you bring Fuku-chan?" Overwhelmed by this barrage of questions, delivered with no apparent pause for breath, Neiju pointed shakily to where the now girl sized Ryo-oohki was peaking out from behind the quietly amused Princess Ayeka with her little sister clutched to her chest.

"I think you startled them," Ayeka said, gently.

Apologizing profusely the Second Princess of Juri herded Ryo-chan, her very best friend, and their two guests through the living room toward the kitchen, Ayeka trailing leisurely afterward.

* * *

Seina knelt on the ground sobs wracking his body, tears of grief and fear turning the ground beneath him muddy. Soon he felt Tenchi settle beside him, his silent presence as comforting as an arm around his shoulders. After a while the tears slowed and the sobs came to a shuddering halt. He felt empty, as if his whole body had been filled with water and it had all poured out his eyes. It seemed as if a stray gust of wind might pick him up and carry him away. 

"I'm sorry Sempai," he said wiping his eyes with the back of his hands. The only part still relatively mud free "I don't know what made me say all that."

"Don't worry about it." said Tenchi. "It can be hard to keep feelings like that bottled up for long." They sat in companionable silence for a moment then Tenchi spoke again. "I'm not sure how much help I can be, the most fighting I have to deal with is Ayeka and Ryouko bickering, and as long as they're not talking about chores they get along just fine." At this he stood up "However" Tenchi said, turning toward Seina and extending a hand. "I have found that hard work solves most problems, and a little bit of manual labor is good for sorting out both the mind and the heart." Seina reached up grasped the proffered hand and let Tenchi help pull him to his feet.

As the returned to tending the field Seina said, "Even if you could help me sort this out I have no idea where to begin."

"To quote the Mad Hatter, 'Begin at the beginning, and when you come to the end, stop.'"

"I've always liked that book. We were reading it in English class the week Amane-san dropped on me."

"It's one of my favorites too. It's a lot like my life; especially falling down the rabbit hole." After a moment, when Seina didn't start his tale Tenchi prompted gently, "You were saying?"

Seina startled, "Oh yeah. the beginning," after a moments thought he began. "I was just coming around the lake on my way to Kiriko-san's house, trying to decide if I'd actually seen Ryouko-san flying by a little earlier when my tire went flat. As I was getting some water to find the hole I hear a beeping and this huge wave washes over me. Next thing I remember is lying on my back with Amane-san's face only a couple inches from mine." He also remembered the accompanying close-up view of Amane-san's substantial chest outlined in a sopping wet skintight uniform. Tenchi-sempi's knowing smirk suggested that he could guess what else Seina had seen. "Anyway, she started apologizing a mile a minute, then she handed me this funny transparent pad that tuned out to be the Galaxy Police application and disappeared." He paused as something new occurred to him. "You know, now that I think about it I'm surprised that Kiriko-san didn't say anything about it while I was at her house, as much as she was against me joining at the beginning. She had plenty of opportunity to see it while I was in the bath. Disabling the transmitter on the application would have been a lot easier than arranging to do my in-processing at customs. That was a fiasco. Kiriko was trying to convince me to go home when Amane shows up," Seina shuddered. "They can be really scary when they're mad."

Seina continued to relate the events leading up to his first posting as 'captain' of the original _Kamedake_, paying particular attention to the tensions between his three live-in tutors. Soon they stopped weeding and began to gather carrots and other vegetables to take back to the house. They had just finished filling the second basket when they heard a horn and looked up to see a small blue pick-up pull to a stop beside the field. As they carried the heavy baskets over to the truck an older man with glasses and a pencil line mustache opened the door and stepped out. "Tou-san, What are you doing here?" Tenchi exclaimed in surprise. "Picking you two up. What does it look like?" Nobuyuki Masaki asked with a grin. Tenchi placed his basket in the back of the truck then looked at his father.

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Well Reia–kun and I thought that we might take advantage of the holiday coming up and take a short trip." The elder Masaki's grin grew smug.

"Especially now that she's 'feeling better'. Ne Tou-san?" Tenchi said nudging his father. Seina looked back and forth in confusion between the two men as Tenchi leered amusedly at his father's now sheepish expression.

"Umm…" Seina said, obviously lost.

As Tenchi's gaze shifted toward him it became more sympathetic. "Go get your bike, I'll explain on the way back." He said, then bent to lift the second large basket of vegetables into the back of the truck as his puzzled friend collected his bike and the coat he had discarded as the day had warmed. Tenchi opened the trucks passenger side door and motioned Seina to get in then squeezed into the seat beside him.

"So," Tenchi drawled as the truck began to move, "Were you going to go to the spring? " Tenchi asked, referring to the small inn and hot spring run by his great aunt. "I know you weren't able to go with us when we went up last month."

"That's the plan. We'd thought about going further afield but, it looks like we'll need to be back sooner then planned so we're only going to be able to be gone for the weekend instead of a full week." Nobuyuki looked disappointed but still happy as he contemplated his upcoming vacation.

Seina, sandwiched in the middle looked back and forth between the farther and son his expression becoming even more puzzled. "I'm glad your looking forward to your vacation Masaki-san but what's so special about this trip." He asked, frustration tinging his words.

"What's so special," Tenchi replied "is that it has been close to two months since I acquired a baby brother, which means my step-mother is finally recovered enough to resume practice of the marital arts." Nobiuyuki's expression became an interesting mix of smugness, embarrassment, and anticipation. "I assume this means that we will be baby sitting?" At his fathers nod Tenchi sighed, closed his eyes, and leaned his head against the door of the truck. The rest of the drive to the house was accomplished in the silence of three men thinking very different thoughts.

* * *


	4. Ch 3

**Authors Note: Apologies for the delay in getting this up. The last scene was a bear to get right I may still revise (Accepting Beta readers)****. Also living in the great flood of '08 doesn't help :D**

Chapter 3

The first thing Tenchi, Seina and Nobuyuki saw upon entering the house, after unloading their baskets of vegetables into the storeroom, was the spectacular lunch laid out on the island in the middle of the deserted kitchen.

The first thing they heard was the scandalized voice of the first princess of Juri.

"Ryouko-san, just what do you think you are doing."

"I would think that was obvious, O-hime-sama."

"Well, its not decent. We have guests."

"Ohh your just jealous, besides its not like they haven't seen it before. "

"Jealous!? Of what?!And what people have and have not seen before is completely beside the point.  
Oh! You are so uncouth."

The first thing they did was trade confused looks then proceed, carefully, into the main living area of the house. Ayeka, Sasami, Neiju and the two cabbits were all gathered in the sitting area at the far end of the room where the dreaded ex-pirate Ryouko was lounging on the couch with her back to the kitchen and cradling a blue wrapped bundle. Sasami was leaning over the back of the couch and Neiju was seated on the chair opposite, Fuku in her lap, her wondering expression slightly tinged with envy. At the sound of their entrance the irate princess's head whipped around, violet ponytails flying. Her eye's grew wide and she tried to block the three men's view of Ryouko and what ever she was holding. Her frantic "don't look" was drowned out by the chorus of "come see"s, and "isn't he cute"s from the other girls. Ryou-oohki popped up from her seat at the far end of the couch and rushed over to drag Tenchi toward the sitting area, Miyaa-ing excitedly, the occasional 'look, look' breaking up her usual babble. Seina and Nobuyuki followed more sedately to where they could see Ryuoko, looking smug as the cat that got the cream, idly caressing the cheek of the infant latched firmly to the end of her left breast suckling for all he was worth. She was so entranced by the baby that she didn't even look up as Tenchi and the other men approached.

Seina open mouthed stare alternated between his friend and the happily nursing pair while Tenchi just stood bemusedly scratching the back of his bowed head and Ayeka retreated behind the arm chair, her face the image of long suffering and mortified exasperation. Nobuyuki just stood back in amused silence. In his two hundred years he had seen lots of babies nurse. Still he wasn't going to waste the chance to examine, even if at a distance, such a truly impressive set of as those currently on display.

After a few seconds Seina found enough of his voice to stutter out "Sempai... When?... How?... What?"

Tench stopped shaking his head and looked up. "I don't know," he said to his confused friend, "_That_ is my little brother, Daiki. How Ryouko, and not Rea-san, can be feeding him lunch is beyond me."

"It's quite simple really," came a voice from behind them. They turned to see Washu exiting her lab, Rea Masaki and Noike Kamiki in tow. The diminutive scientist continued. "Thanks to my genius, my darling little girl has a good bit of conscious control over her internal structure and chemistry, so she can start nursing immediately. Normally it would take pregnancy or several weeks of concentrated suckling to get the milk to start flowing."

"Well that says how, but not exactly why. Formula was fine for Taro-chan visits," Tenchi asked plaintively.

"Taro-chan was older and even then I had to do up a new batch. When a baby is new his nutritional needs change rapidly and a woman's milk changes in response. The formulation adjusts hour by hour and even minute to minute in response to subtle signals. There are some things that not even my genius can replace, only improve." She paused and her smug grin changed to a more considering expression. "Maybe improve a bit to much." Every one followed her gaze to see that Ryouko's expression had moved beyond being merely entranced to down right glazed. Rea-san eased over to the nursing pair and casually reached to take back her infant son. As she reached forward a low growl emanated from the former pirate which rose in volume as her hands moved closer. A bemused expression spread across her face and she made a few vague gestures more playing with the sound then in a serious attempt toward repossessing her child. "Well," she said, "I'm glad he'll be well taken care of." With that she turned and walked briskly toward the table calling over her shoulder, "Sasami-chan is lunch ready? I'm hungry too."

"_Hi,_"the young princes called cheerfully as she bounced up from be hind the couch. She herded her new friend Neju into the kitchen and with Noike they began ferrying dishes to the table. As the rest of the group took their seats, chattering excitedly, Tenchi looked to where Ryouko sat oblivious. Briefly he contemplated the disturbance to the _wa_ of his household that would result from the one person wandering around half-naked and monopolizing his little brother. After a moment he decided things couldn't get much more chaotic then they already were. With a shrug he gathered up the still stunned Seina and sat down to enjoy the marvelous meal spread before them.

* * *

Behind her smile, Kyouko Yamada, Seina's mother, was very worried. It was nice to have her son and daughters-in-law visit, especially with the increase in sales from the girls helping in the store. Even though the money Seina sent home from his paycheck each month was quite considerable, one never new what could happen. Especially when her son was involved. It always paid to be prepared and she had made sure to double stock the store for their visit. Even so, despite the extra inventory it looked like they we're going to run out of groceries several hours before usual closing. This, she decided, would be a very good thing. She had spent too many years hiding her own worry for the happiness of her eldest child to miss the brittle tension that had lurked under the surface of the seven women cleaning, stocking shelves, manning the checkout counters, and dodging the attentions of the clientèle. They had managed to get through two days of every unattached male for fifty miles, and several of the attached ones, crowding into the store staring, drooling and occasionally getting up the nerve to try making a pass. The girls tempers, already on edge from whatever problems they had brought with them, were fraying rapidly and it was only a mater of time before someone snapped.

Karen was _pissed. _Not that she was the only one, but of all Seina's wives she was the most universal in the targets of her ire_. Two days,_ _two stinking days dealing with these drooling morons, _she fumed as she attacked the stock room floor with a mop. _What was Suiren-shi thinking when she agreed to this. I hate this stupid contest. _After all it wasn't like there was anything to win, just lose. The three years since they had come to the Juraian Empire seeking help controlling the pirates running rampant through the territory claimed by the Federation had been long and fruitless. Jurai and the Galactic Union had been dealing with their own surge in pirate activity and hadn't been able to lend more than a small battle group to help patrol the common border with their more sparsely populated neighbor.

And then _He_ had appeared. As hand-maids to the Lady Seto they'd had more information then most on the incredible anti-pirate weapon that He represented, if only they could get Him home. Karen wasn't sure anymore which of the four of them had suggested kidnapping Him before his wedding, though she suspected the idea had originated with Seto-sama, nor was she sure why they had all thought it was a good idea. They'd already waited three years, another couple of weeks wouldn't have made that much difference. But once Suiren-shi had the bit between her teeth there was no stopping her. As much as she respected the organizational skill of her kardesshibe, but some times she could be so _blind_. As negatively as He had responded to their their previous attempts to seduce Him, why would anyone believe He would willingly abandon His brides at the alter to run off with them. _It's not like we're having any more success attracting his attention now anyway, _she fumed_._

Karen paused and leaned on her mop her status and position among the kadin, of House Yamada. She had not worked so hard training mind and body to obtain the position of Bas-Kadin, First Wife, Mistress of the Household, to wind up the most junior of eight wives. Even if the were all kadin to the third heir of the Juraian empire, if she had married at home, at worst only two would have stood above her. Her grip tightened on the handle of her mop as she contemplated the women who she felt rated higher in the regard of their husband. None of them seemed to have any idea of how to manage the affairs of the Harem_, _not precedence, not the Cycle of Union, not even the basics of household management. No, that was unfair, Kiriko-shi was very good at the logistics of provisioning the Kamidake II, as a ship. However she seemed completely unaware of her duties as Bas-Kadin. He deferred to her first, always, yet she acted as insecure in her position as the newest odalisque wondering if she would be guarding the family compound or scrubbing the kitchens. The handle of the mop creaked as her grip continued to tighten as if on some enemies throat. The worst was that painted doll. The handle finally snapped and she fell to her knees beating the floor with the short end in frustration. _It's not fair, it's not fair it's not fair, _she wailed silently_._ Both hastabashibe Camilla and Kadin-sera Hypolita had said she was their most promising student on the Path of the Sword in nearly three hundred years, and that pampered, unrefined, _hussy_ who paraded herself around on _billboards_ for _anyone_ to see and had taken up the Sword _on a whim_ was His Mistress of Swords. _It's not fair. _

Karen was so deep in her tantrum that she didn't hear the door open behind her. Gokyuren always moved silently. As a member of the 5th estate, the practices of stealth had become a part of her so long ago that she didn't need to think about them. Even before she had manifested the rare family talent to completely erase ones presence, to become like the wind and disappear in front of peoples very eyes, she had been good at making herself unnoticed. No mean feat given her strikeing appearance. She was exercising that talent now to escape the press of impetuous youths who had come to stare at her and the other wives of House Yamada.

It was all quite amusing, if tiresome. Her exotic beauty, coupled with an edict memory, had earned her training as both courtesan and susurara. Attracting the desire of the unsophisticated adolescents that crowded the business operated by her Lord's parents was so easy it was almost boring, almost. Lord Yamada himself on the other hand was a different story. Despite both his obvious inexperience and his physical attraction to herself and the three other representatives of the federation he had vigorously, and successfully, resisted their attempts to secure his loyalty to themselves and their cause.

Seina Yamada was a challenge, and a challenge of this kind she had not had in the nearly two centuries she had walked the halls of power in the Rezma federation, decorating the arms, offices, and beds of Senators and Councilors, Lords, Ladies, and lobbyists. She had served her house as aide and adviser, ambassador, spy and assassin, and had never met someone quite like the man who now claimed her allegiance.

As she eased into the store-room she saw Karen throwing a fit in the middle of the floor. _Ugg_, she thought _just exactly what we need, Suiren is so much better at dealing with this kind of nonsense_. As she debated returning to the store, she saw Amane Kunaque steaming toward her caring an arm load of empty boxes and trailing admirers. _Ohhhh, this could be interesting._ She eased into the space between the door and the shelves of cleaning suplies, just as Miss Kunaque powered through and fell head long over Karen. Her trail of admirers surged through the door filling the air with exclamations of surprise and concern, as they buried the two girls in an avalanche of 'helpfulness.'

"That is IT, I have had ENOUGH." The over-eager suitors recoiled as Amane rose in a towering fury. "The next guy who pinches my butt I will rip of his arms and feed them to him." As the shocked audience retreated in a wave of bows and stammered apologies Karin's voice rose from the floor, "Oh I doubt that." As Karen slowly stood she continued mockingly, "As if a woman like you cared. You couldn't even catch one of them, you painted dress-up doll. Much less mete out the punishment they so richly deserve!"

"Oh and I suppose a skinny little girl like you who has to kidnap guys to get their attention could do better?" Amane retorted.

"Better than a slut pretending to be a warrior? Certainly!"

"Slut!! And who had their dirty little hands all over my Seina-chan? As if he would notice you unless you stuck your tongue in his ear."

With a shriek Karen launched herself at her rival and the two of them stumbled back onto the sales floor where she proceeded to demonstrate the skill at unarmed combat that had so impressed her instructors. Amane was less skilled, but more than made up the difference with brute force. As the two women careened through the aisles trading punches, kicks, slaps, and insults, cameras sprouted in dozens of hands. One particularly high quality camera was wielded by Hiroki Nakamura.

Hiroki had known Seina Yamada, or at least known of him, all his life. For three years had been assigned to sit next to "Sainan (the calamity)" in school. Two years ago he had begun an organized study of his classmates unbelievably bad luck. Part of the reason was pure self defense, as Seina's pervasive misfortune tended to spill over onto people in his vicinity, but mostly it was a growing fascination with the incredible ways the laws of probability seemed to bend to the breaking point where ever Seina went. Way back at the beginning of summer break he had even attempted to outsmart Seina's luck with an umbrella. The experiment failed miserably and that had been the last he'd seen of his research subject until almost three months latter when Seina had walked through town accompanied by two gorgeous strangers and Kiriko Masaki, his eternal crush. The abrupt upgrade in the Yamada family real estate had been a clear indication that something had changed drastically, and this time there we're four more beauties trailing after the 'Master of Disaster.' Something in Seina's luck had changed and Hiroki was going to find out what, especially if it gave him such wonderful opportunities. _After all, _he thought_, how often do you get to watch two incredibly well endowed and obviously athletic women rolling around ripping each others clothes off,__outside of Aniki's porn collection?_ Speaking of, Hiroki was seriously regretting not bringing a camcorder, even if it would have been kind of obvious.

The cat-fight was escalating as several of the other girls tried to push their way through the tight packed scrum yelling encouragement and wagers. Most of the men in the store were also trying to elbow their way closer to where the blond and the redhead were fighting. But Hiroki was not like the rest of the men crowding the Yamada's store; he was there to study Seina, not the girls. Well, mostly Seina. And that meant that he was watching more than the fight. Watching and taking pictures. Pictures of the meganekko with green hair and gentle demeanor stumbling into the path of the red head as she rocketed out of the crowd and through the plate glass window at the front of the store. Pictures of the at same red head staggering to her feet heedless of her own near nudity as the other girls rushed to the meganekko's side. A side pierced by a shard of glass from the window she was laying halfway through. Pictures of the statuesque blond poking desperately at her watch, followed by Kiriko-san slapping her hands apart through some sort of hazy square that appeared between them and yelling for Seina's mom to call the 'new doctor.' And one last picture as the customers were hustled out of the store. A picture of the pale woman with green jewels on her forehead with a very odd expression. _She looks_, he thought after carefully examining a blown up copy of the photo, _like she just won the supermarket raffle and doesn't know if she really wants the prize. This will be very interesting._

* * *


End file.
